What I Want from My Governments

We need to wear masks because we are stupid and ugly.

In pleasant contrast to the hostility and intolerance that many people express towards opinions that are contrary to their own, I was pleasantly surprised when someone asked me what I think and what I would do if I was in a position of power and influence. I was a little hard pressed to summarize the ideas that I have at this point in my life about how the world works and how I believe it could be better. I will try here. I will also include a few other ideas that have been shared with me.

But first, I will explain what little logic I managed to articulate in response to the interesting question of what I would like my governments to do. Its fairly simple: I am a Libertarian. I won’t say exactly what governments should or should do, but they should do less. The so-called “climate emergency” is a dangerous temptation for the them to do much, much more at disastrous expense. If it were up to me, the majority of Canadians who claim to be concerned about carbon dioxide emissions can hope on a bicycle from time to time and prove that they believe in Catastrophic Anthropogenic Climate Change (CACC). When I was a CACC-sucker I stopped driving my small car and biked year-round. Soccer moms, electricians and other people who want to virtue signal their concern for the environment can rack up a thousand kimmies a year without much difficulty. Many people can easily bike much more without compromising quality of life. They might actually benefit from the fresh air, exercise and perspective that bicycles provide (not to mention the inexpensive operation).

The City of Calgary boasts the most extensive urban bicycle path network in North America. Therefore, upgrading to a system that is practical and safe for most people would be a relatively inexpensive investment. Electric bicycles reduce the excuses that CACC-suckers produce when whining for subsidized cars with cup holders and acceleration that isn’t going to save the world. Investments in such infrastructure also has the advantage of fewer unionized employees than public transit. Drivers and mechanics cost taxpayers a lot.

What will cost taxpayers more? Replacing every automobile and piece of power generation equipment in the world, or ending street parking along good cycling routes?

I imagine a project: there is currently a bicycle path that runs along a pleasant and picturesque route from downtown to the city’s North East. However, once riders fly over Deerfoot Trail, they quickly find themselves on roads with cars. The available routes into the residential areas are indirect and tedious compared to the pathway of the Nose Creek Valley. I propose a viaduct over the warehouses and the mall that lies between Alberta’s busiest highway and the neighborhoods. It would save cyclists time, encounters with automobiles. It would also provide Calgary’s North East with some much-needed awesomeness. The quadrant has pathways, but few of them are interesting or beautiful. A fast route with a view of the city centre with the mountains in the background might encourage people to leave their private automobiles at home more often. Even the mall might receive more visits if people can park their bikes on the roof and wander down to its corridors.

Another project that I would like to see would be a passenger train between Calgary and Edmonton. There have proposals for a highspeed service but since there is no regular speed passenger trains at this point, perhaps we should start there. The highspeed proposals only stop and the airports of the province’s two biggest cities and in Red Deer. If it were up to me, exciting destinations like Airdrie, Olds and Penoka could have stops. These towns and small cities might benefit from people being able to commute conveniently to a business centre. Many passengers could also bring bicycles on the trains or leave them at the stations.

Geeze…that might be the extent of what I would do if I were the despot. How about some of my brother’s ideas? He suggested making public transit free! I am skeptical, but it might just be crazy enough to work. I’ve heard about it being successful on some level in at least one place. It would, in theory, reduce the need for expensive infrastructure projects and improve traffic flow. He also suggested the city buy or rent a tunneling machine to make routes for bicycles or public transit. When a major road was dug up, he said it would have been a good opportunity to put a subway line down. What else?

Ah yeah. I had another idea of my own: a petition fair. People can hang out and sign all the non-binding statements that they agree with and acquire snacks from food trucks and ignore live entertainment from musicians and clowns. It might be a good event to also host debates and forums.

This is something that I will continue to think about, but there are very few things that I would rush to change. Despite identifying as a libertarian and being suspicious of bureaucracies, I must admit to receiving reasonably good service from government employees most of the time and excellent service many times. I have received several responses to letters that I have written to public officials, including Ralph Klein when he was Premier. I am open to the idea of private education and healthcare, but I let other people argue things like that.

Oh! Yet another idea! Perhaps there should be a few government positions that are offered by way of a lottery. That would give people who lack the connections and money that help with leadership roles an opportunity to influence some of the decisions that get made on our behalf. The prime minister should not be put in place this way, but some lucky person gets to have his or her voice lifted above the din.

Hey! There’s more! Calgary also claims to have the world’s largest collection of interconnected elevated walkways in it’s downtown core. Why aren’t these promoted during the cold months as a place of walking/jogging. I see a city centre with a new train station and waterpark along the 9th Ave corridor where lots of land waits for interesting additions.

Here’s one for you: Let’s replace “pride” celebrations with honoring the love between consenting human adults (CHAL). Not only is this intended to protect CHAL rights, but it also seems worth sparing innocent, impressionable young minds the highly sexualized aspects of pride parades. Where is the parade to honor healthy families?

“Pride” parades are also due to be replaced because I think many people are very tired of the LGBTQRSTUV2F+ BS. I am. This ever-changing initialism has become extremely convoluted and its still not enough sometimes. Some people feel the need to add a “plus” to the end. Plus, what? Hmm? PLUS, WHAT?! What is the perversion that is missing from the lengthening series of letters? What is up with that goddamn “plus”? What are they beating around the bush about? Hmmm? Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Queer, 2 Spirited. What else is there?

Do we need rights for people who are attracted to inanimate objects? Sure. Why not? As long as they don’t hump any of my inanimate objects, or anything out in public, its none of my business. How about people that are sexually attracted to animate objects that aren’t consenting adults? Do they deserve to engage in their fantasies? In my opinion, all good people must oppose perverts trying to get off on animals or children.

What?! LGBTQRSTUV2F+ BS is not meant to hurt children? I’m a bigot for only supporting CHAL? Who am I oppressing? I just want freedom for people to engage in healthy relationships and that excludes all forms of pedophilia and bestiality. That exclusion is meant to prevent civilization from collapsing.

Next, I will quit drinking as a demonstration of my displeasure with the vaxx pass. I’ll show you healthy. Close the gyms down but keep the liquor stores open? Consider making your family eat outside in the bitter freezing cold for Christmas? How can we trust these bureaucrats?

2 thoughts on “What I Want from My Governments

  1. The bicycle could solve so many problems, if only they were used more. I see the trend of riding a bike and walking has increased since the covid 19 Pandemic.
    Keep on riding and writing!!


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